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Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. You'll always stay young if you live honestly, eat slowly, sleep sufficiently, work industriously, worship faithfully, and lie about your age. Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
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Everyday Quirks One-Liners. "I mentioned to my wife that her eyebrow sketches were lofty. She raised an eyebrow.". "On my whiskey diet, I've misplaced a few days this week.". "Diving into a book on floating in space. I just can't set it aside!". "I don't grapple with madness; I relish its every tick.". "My bed's an.
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28. You know people don't like you when you get handed the camera for group photos. 29. My dad and Nemo have one thing in common. They can't be found. 30. I have a joke about trickle-down economics, but 99% of you won't get it. 31. I used to have a fish that could breakdance.
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115 Funny One-Liner Jokes to Have You Laughing Out Loud Last Updated: July 11, 2023 What a better way to make somebody laugh than a well-timed funny one-liner? That's why we've compiled a list of the best single line jokes split into six distinct categories: Short Yet Very Funny Clever and Witty Pun -liners People related Life Situations
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Basically, due to being so short, these jokes are very universal and can be used in a variety of circumstances (appropriate ones, of course) and ways. #4. The problem isn't that obesity runs in your family. It's that no one runs in your family. Report.
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1. I don't have a carbon footprint. I just drive everywhere. 2. The most corrupt CEOs are those of the pretzel companies. They're always so twisted. 3. When we were kids, we used to be afraid.
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What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a seal? A polar bear. 5. Why can't you trust an atom? Because they make up literally everything. 6. Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight.
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What Are Some of the Best Dark Humor Jokes? If you are looking for the very best dark jokes to tell your friends, we've got you covered. Bored Panda community voted for and picked the very best ones. Hence, we're confident that the first ten entries on this list can be dubbed the top 10 dark humor jokes on the internet. #1
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Offensive jokes about countries There's a saying in comedy: either everything can be funny, or nothing can be funny. We hope this collection of offensive (but still respectful) country jokes falls in line with the "everything can be funny" angle. Let's start with England and the Royal family.
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Jokes 50 Fucked Up Jokes You Should Never Tell Your Easily Offended Friends By Juliet Lanka Updated October 9, 2020 God & Man These are some truly fucked up jokes. And if you want some more dark humor, check out our best dark jokes. 1. How is a woman like a condom? Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick. 2.
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Maryn Liles Updated: Jun 16, 2023 iStock Nothing gets a good laugh better than a well-placed one-liner—and we could all use a little laughter. Enter these funny one-liners. These clever.
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Here are 40 hilarious one-liner jokes guaranteed to put a smile on both of your faces. Funny One-Liner Jokes I asked the IT guy, "How do you make a Motherboard?" He said, "I tell her about my job." Why was Cinderella dropped from the soccer team? She kept running away from the ball. I wanted my kids to watch the orchestra, but I had to turn it off.
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37+ Brutal Dark Jokes for The Most Twisted & Morbid Minds Dark jokes usually center around controversial topics. For example, they might make fun of serious stuff like death, murder, wars, and so on. However, they can also involve more lighthearted subjects such as race relations/racism, gender issues, or disabilities. Why are they so funny?
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Top dark humor jokes 1. What does my dad have in common with Nemo? They both can't be found. 2. It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
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One word: Comedy! In the words of famous pianist and conductor Victor Borge, "Laughter is the closest distance between two people.". If you have ever watched the way people's faces light up upon hearing a joke, then you'd know that Victor Borge was right. It's simple psychology.
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Jesus on the cross.. After a brutal and tough day carrying the cross up Golgatha, the Romans nailed Jesus with no remorse to the heavy wooden structure. Golgatha was a grand hill, and as the cross was raised Jesus looked down upon all those gathered before him. He saw his wonderful mother Mary.